Gate Crasher
by SylvanDaggers
Summary: Ed's attempt at healing himself gave Truth the opportunity to have some fun, which leads to Sirius's early morning coffee being interrupted by a certain blond falling from his ceiling. Will the wizards be able to find out anything about their mysterious intruder? And how long will it be before the Fullmetal Alchemist can find a way back home? Three-shot. Complete.
1. Gate Crasher

a/n: Yeah, yeah, I know I should be working on _A Study in Alchemy_ , but hear me out. My current computer needs to be fixed, so I am using a different device to get on here. I went looking through my old files and guess what I found? A crossover one shot I had written a while back! Ah, memories. I thought it would be fun to post it. It's short, but I personally find it funny (hence the 'humor' genre marking). Hopefully my laptop gets fixed soon and I can get back to _A S_ _tudy in Alchemy._

 _So we meet again..._ = Thought (Or, in the case of this story, it can be a flashback)  
Ed glared at the bottle of milk sitting mockingly in front of him. = Everything else

~o(0)o~ = Viewpoint change

~~~v~~~ = Time Skip

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or Harry Potter, but hey, I never stop wishing I do.

* * *

 **Gate Crasher**

The Gate slammed shut in front of the alchemist, banishing him into the endless darkness of Truth. The white being smiled. It was rare he had the chance to mess with someone so often, and he intended to milk it for all it was worth. _Mr. Alchemist, meet magic._

~o(0)o~

Sirius was enjoying his first cup of morning coffee and admiring the sleepy atmosphere in his house when it happened. Blue lightning, rushing air, and the clear– yet strange– sound of massive doors slamming shut shattered the silence in the kitchen. Then something heavy slammed onto the dining table.

The framed wizard toppled backwards in his chair as the thing smacked onto the table with large crash. From the floor, he couldn't see what had smashed into his kitchen, but when Sirius looked up at the ceiling, he saw no hole or sign that something had fallen through. For a minute, the wanted man held himself still, waiting for something to happen. Upstairs, he could hear the others moving around, probably awakened by the sudden noise, but the kitchen was silent–

"Nnh…" A faint groan of pain made Sirius's ears perk up, and he pushed himself off the floor. Could it be that the _something_ that had fallen out of nowhere…was actually a _someone_? The wizard stood just as the door to the kitchen slammed open to admit Remus, Molly, and the others currently staying at the Black residence.

"Sirius, what happened?" Remus questioned urgently, wand drawn. The ex-convict didn't speak for a moment, simply gesturing, stunned, at the figure splayed across the surface of his table.

"…He fell on the table." Sirius studied the mysterious personage. Since the figure was lying face down, no one could see his face, but Sirius was fairly sure it was a 'he'. 'He' was fairly short, with long, blond hair in a loose braid. The blond wore a red overcoat displaying a strange snake-wing-cross symbol on the back, black leather pants, and thick-soled black boots. The whole outfit was soaked through with what Sirius assumed was water. One arm was tucked under the red overcoat, and the other was positioned carelessly by his head. Sirius noted curiously that the blond wore white gloves on both hands. The man was eerily still and hadn't made another sound since the others had entered, so the wanted wizard assumed he wasn't conscious. In fact, the guy was so still that Sirius might have thought him dead if not for the slight grunt earlier– he didn't even look to be breathing.

Remus, Molly, and the kids– Harry, Hermione, Ron, and the twins– moved cautiously into the kitchen.

"Who is he?" Ron asked.

Sirius shrugged, looking at the Weasley. "How am I supposed to know? He came out of nowhere."

"Hey! He just moved!" The twins exclaimed in unison. Sirius snapped his gaze back to the blond, but he didn't see– There! The hand resting up by the man's head twitched.

"Kids. Out. Now." Remus commanded.

"But–!" The younger residents of the Black house were cut off as the werewolf shot them a stern glare.

"Now." Remus repeated. Molly ushered her children (plus Hermione) out of the dining area before closing the door and locking it with a flick of her wand. Remus muttered a few words, and a silvery wolf sprang from tip of his wand. The patrons raced out of the room, probably to alert Dumbledore of the situation.

"Be careful;" Lupin looked Sirius, then Molly, in the eyes. "He could be–"

A stuttering, gasping intake of air interrupted the ex-professor, as the man on the table suddenly drew in a huge breath. Almost immediately, the blond began coughing violently, his body trembling as it was wracked with rasping, wheezing explosions of air.

"What in Merlin's name…" Sirius muttered, unsure what to do. The man's hacking just got worse, and his gloved hands had moved to grip his stomach.

"Oh my!" Molly exclaimed pointing on horror at a stain quickly growing under the mysterious intruder. Sirius felt sick when he realized what it was: blood.

"Flip him over!" Remus yelled, and he and Sirius quickly turned the man so that he face the ceiling. All three wizards gasped.

Crimson liquid trickled from the blond's mouth with each cough, and more flowed freely from a gaping hole in the ( _Oh my gosh he's only a kid,_ Sirius realized with shock as he caught a glimpse of the young man's pain-contorted features) teen's side. With mounting horror, Sirius noted that he could see _straight through_ the blond to the table beneath. _He's been impaled!_

Looking up at a choked sob, Sirius saw Molly with one hand over her mouth and looking as if about to collapse. _Crap! she's the only one who knows–_

"Molly! Cast a healing charm!" Remus beat Sirius to the punch.

Molly shakily waved her wand, and the blood around the convulsing blond vanished. Another wave, and the bleeding stopped altogether. With a final flick, the wound closed, held by a thin layer of delicate, pink skin.

Sirius pulled a chair over, and Remus gently guided the thoroughly shaken woman to sit in it. As the werewolf put an arm around her shoulders to comfort her, Sirius stumbled back to the table. He stared at the teen who, moments ago had been in the throes of agony, and was now lying still on the dining table. Small, shuddering breaths accompanied the slight rise and fall of the teen's chest.

 _That's right. He's a kid._ Sirius remembered numbly as he scrutinized the unknown boy's features. Unruly, golden-blond bangs fell over closed eyes. Though his features were chiseled and strong, the blond was obviously in his young teens... But Sirius had never seen anyone wounded that badly.

 _How did a kid manage to get an injury like that?…How did the kid even get in here?_ Sirius asked himself, remembering the question everyone had been wondering before the mystery visitor had started coughing up a lung.

Just as the Azkaban escapee was turning to say something to Lupin and Molly about the teen's inexplicable appearance, he caught movement in the corner of his vision. Sirius swung back to the table. Molten gold swirled within a vortex of raw emotions met Sirius's gaze.

The boy had opened his eyes.

~o(0)o~

Ed wanted a vacation. One that didn't, in _any_ way, involve traveling, chasing down wanted persons, or ending with him being severely injured during a fight– no, Ed had had plenty of that. So what was the Fullmetal alchemist like when he opened his eyes to find himself in an unfamiliar room, surrounded by unknown people, feeling as if someone had ripped a hole in his gut, and having no idea how he had gotten into this situation? He was ticked.

"Who are you?" He demanded, sitting up and looking straight at a skinny man with long, tangled, black hair. _Ow, not a good idea,_ Ed thought as a muted feeling of agony began spreading from his abdomen. "Where the hell am I?"

The man jumped back, drawing a stick from a pocket and pointing it at the young alchemist. With a quick glance, Ed saw the two others in the room with him, a motherly red-headed woman and a mild-aged man wearing a ragged suit, were doing the same.

 _A hostile environment._ Ed observed. _Now how did I get here?_

"We ask the questions here." The suited man said, gesturing with the wood. "You're outnumbered."

 _Hmm…they use the same language, but I can't place this guy's accent._

"Are those splinters supposed to be threatening?" Fullmetal laughed. At the movement, the dull pain in his side suddenly flared up, and the alchemist barely suppressed a wince. "I don't know what you're trying to pull, but I can guarantee those thin sticks of yours won't be enough to protect you if I don't start getting some answers." He brought his hands up in a defensive position, ready to clap at the slightest provocative movement.

"…You…don't know what these are?" That was the woman speaking. She gestured at the stick she held in her hand, and her tone suggested it should have been obvious to the alchemist. Ed was running out of patience. The pain in his abdomen was growing steadily worse, and the constant throbbing was doing nothing for his temper.

"Besides pointless slivers of lumber? How the heck should I know? Now you're going to tell me who you are and exactly how far we are from Briggs–" Ed's eyes widened and he cut himself off. He remembered how this had happened.

~~~v~~~

 _"_ _You sure you want to do this?"_

 _"_ _It might take a few years off my lifespan." The alchemist admitted._

 _"_ _And you're okay with that?!"_

 _"_ _It was my naivety that got me into this mess, so I might as well suck it up and pay the price to get out of it."_

 _"_ _I've got no idea what you're talking about, but you seem to know what you're doing. Just tell me when to pull."_

 _Ed held his mismatched hands above the steel beam implanted in his stomach. He nodded to the gorilla chimera. "Do it."_

 _Screams. Someone was screaming. He was screaming. Pain. Agony like nothing else. No, he had to think about something else. He had to remember what it was like: what it was like to use the Philosopher's stone in Envy– what it was like to use others' lives and channel the power of the soul._

 _White. No, he wasn't supposed to be here! Ed looked around for a way out, but the blank expanse stretched on into eternity, only broken by a pair of stone doors._

 _"_ _Well, well, well, if it isn't Mr. Alchemist come back to play." A white figure, visible only because of a faint outline of shadows stood between Ed and the Gate._

 _"_ _I didn't ask to come here!" Ed tried. "This isn't what I wanted! Let me leave!"_

 _Truth gave the alchemist a cheshire grin. "What are you talking about little Mr. Al~che~mist? Didn't you want to heal yourself? Didn't you perform human transmutation?"_

 _"_ _No! I mean yes! But no–"_

 _"_ _Don't worry. You already paid part of the toll. I won't heal you though. No, that would be too easy for you and no fun for me. Instead, I'll send you to where you can be healed." The alabaster shadow cocked its head. "Hmm, yes,_ that _place would be quite entertaining."_

 _"_ _What are you talking about you basta–"_

 _"_ _Now, now, Little Alchemist, watch your language and have a nice trip!"_

~~~v~~~

"Shit!" His memories returned, Ed frantically pawed at his stomach, trying to find his wound. The alchemist cried out in pain as his metal fingers made contact with the tender flesh of the skinned-over hole in his gut. _Damn._ He pulled his hand away, but the glove was clear of blood. For a moment he looked at it in confusion.

 _How did it…?_ His eyes widened as he realized what must have happened.

"No, no, no, heck no! Not again!" His hands began running over his body again, searching for whatever was missing. He jumped up, dimly noting that he had been lying on a table, to pat down the rest of his body. "What did you take, you grinning sonuva–?"

Something poked into his back. On reflex, Ed dropped to the ground and swept his leg out behind him, tripping the black-haired man and sending the stick he had been holding against the alchemist's back skittering across the ground.

Agony. Spots filled Ed's vision as a thousand knives stabbed into his brain. He gasped, in too much pain for his scream to find voice. _Bad move. Bad move. Don't jump around with a hole in your stomach, you idiot!_

" _Incarcerous!"_

Ed arms were suddenly pinned to his sides as black cords appeared out of nowhere. He fell painfully to the ground, letting out a strangled yell as he landed on his wounded side. _Where did these ropes come from?_

" _Stupify!"_

~o0o~

Sirius was knocking back his fourth cup of coffee as he stood– well, _sat_ – watch in front of the room that held their mysterious intruder. Remus was inside, trying to find out more information about the boy while the blond was still unconscious. Sirius still couldn't believe any of this was happening. Even for wizard standards, the chain of events this morning– _Merlin, has it only been a few hours?–_ was insane.

"Argh!" THUMP.

Sirius jumped up from his chair as Remus cried out. The ex-convict drew his wand and threw open the door to find the werewolf on the floor, nursing one shoulder. On the bed against the wall stood the now-awake intruder, the blond's golden eyes alight with fury as he readied himself throw another punch.

"What in the name of Truth were you doing to my automail?" The angry teen yelled at the downed lycanthrope.

"Is that what it's called?" Remus mused from the floor.

"What is what called?" Sirius asked. The room's occupants looked at him as if just now noticing he had joined them. As the strange boy turned to see his new opponent, the animagus's eye caught a glimmer of metal from the kid's arm. "Merlin's beard…" Was all Sirius could manage through his astonishment.

The blond's gloves had been removed, and while his left hand was like any other, the kid's right hand had been replaced by an appendage of glittering steel.

"Who doesn't know what automail is?" The boy asked skeptically, his left hand gesturing at the prosthetic. "Don't tell me I ended up in some place without technology!"

"Well, if we were in muggle London there would be more technology, but since–" Lupin was interrupted.

"Muggle _what?"_

"London. London, England." The blond just looked confused by Remus's answer.

"And where the hell is that? West or East of Xing?"

"Xing? Never heard of it." Not noticing the way the teen had stiffened, eyes wide, Lupin continued. "Like I was saying, you won't see technology here since it's not compatible with magic."

"… _Magic?"_ The kid scoffed. "Magic doesn't exist!"

"Yeah?" Sirius flicked his wand, summoning a plush chair under Remus.

"Th-that–" The blond choked. "That's not possible. Not poss–" His eyes widened suddenly, and he snapped his gaze to the ceiling. "Dammit, Truth! _Magic?_ You dropped me somewhere with _magic!?_ What are you trying to pull?!" The kid started cursing, creatively weaving together insults and expletives from several unrecognizable languages. Apparently, the boy was well educated, as he was still going strong after a few minutes.

Sirius shared a glance with Lupin. _Who is he talking to? Is this kid insane?_

"…Who are you talking to?" Sirius tried.

The blond spared him a glance before returning to glare at the ceiling. "That cheeky con artist Truth. The sick jerk probably thought it would be fun to see me scramble around with _magic_." The teen spat out the word as if it had personally offended him. With an angry sigh, the blond dropped onto the bed and rested his forehead against his metal fingers. In contrast with the angry teen the wizards had seen up until this point– making demands and throwing out punches– the kid now looked exhausted beyond his years.

Sirius was trying to decided what to do when he heard the blond let out a whispered curse. "They've never heard of Xing, so I'm either on the other side of the world, or…" Another curse. "Knowing him, he decided on the latter. Looks like I'm going to be here a while."

Now that the kid was talking calmly (even if he sounded insane), Sirius decided to leave him be. _Maybe he will give away something._

"Who are you?" Apparently, Remus had other ideas.

Surprisingly, the kid responded. "Edward. Edward Elric. My friends call me Ed."

Sirius gaped. "You're just going to tell us?!" He practically shouted. "What about before when you just about attacked us for asking the same thing?"

'Ed' sighed. "Equivalent exchange. You want answers, right? You ask _me_ something, and then I ask _you_ something." The teen shrugged before adding fatalistically. "I have all the time in the _world_ ," A microscopic grin flashed across Edward's lips at the word, as if it was a private joke. "So I might as well do something."

"…You said we had to give something in return, so what do you want for giving us your name?" _Ah, there was Remus with the important questions._ "We won't give you anything for just a name to a face." The wizards shifted their wands in their grip, anticipating an outlandish request. _He did come from the ceiling after all._

"I just want your names. It has to be an equivalent trade." The boy said as if it should have been obvious.

Sirius shared another glance with Remus. Remus could give his name no problem, but Sirius? The kid would surely recognize the escaped convict's name, and then the two of them would never manage to get any information out of Ed. The blond seemed to notice their hesitation and spoke up.

"Don't worry about telling me your names. Believe me; no matter who you are, I have a feeling I won't recognize them. All I want is something to call you by."

"What would stop you from telling someone else– someone who would recognize our names?" Sirius asked. _If even one wizard knows I'm still in London…_

"What would stop me?" The teen parroted. "Well, for starters, I having no freakin clue where I am." Edward gestured around him. It was surprising how well the kid's prosthetic arm could move. "Where would I go?"

"We already told you we're in London." Sirius reminded. The blond just shook his head.

"London, England, right?" When the two wizards nodded, he held up his hands. "Where is that? I'm not from around here."

Remus was the first to recover from Elric's glaring lack of world knowledge. "It's on a large island in the atlantic ocean and is considered part of the European continent."

The blond nodded thoughtfully. "Never heard of it, so that just proves it…" He trailed off before looking back at Remus. "Thanks. I'll look it up later if I have time."

"Ah," The werewolf stopped him. "Equivalent exchange, right? Where are you from?"

Surprisingly, the teen grinned. "Now you're talking a language I can understand. I'm from Resembool, Amestris. It's landlocked by the countries of Drachma, Xing, Creta, and Aerugo."

"Never heard of them." Sirius grumbled as Remus shot him a glare.

"Not my problem. Now, I still haven't heard your names." Edward looked at the two wizards expectantly.

After a moment's hesitation, Remus extended his hand. "Remus Lupin."

Ed took the offered hand gingerly in with his metal prosthetic, obviously taking care not to exert too much pressure during the handshake. When that was done, Elric turned to Sirius. "And you?"

Sirius was trapped within the teen's golden gaze. He could give Ed a fake name, but something told him that those stunning eyes would be able to see right through it. _Aw, to heck with it._ "The name's Sirius Black. Recognize it?"

The blond showed no reaction to the wizard's name, to which Sirius was honestly surprised despite the kid's previous claims. "No. Should I?"

Sirius shook his head, relieved.

"Alright, ask another question."

"Are you a spy for You-Know-Who?" Sirius blurted out.

Ed looked at him blankly. "I don't know who, so most likely not. Who are you talking about?"

"You don't know about Voldemort?!" An unfamiliar voice exclaimed. Muffled shushing accompanied the voice that had shouted through the door. All heads whipped around, and with a flick of Remus's wand, the door opened. Standing in the hallway were the children– Harry, Ron, and Hermione in the front– all looking incredibly guilty for eavesdropping on the conversation with the mysterious stranger.

"Um, hi." Hermione started awkwardly. "I'm Hermione, and this is Ron and Harry." The female Gryffindor gestured at each boy in turn. "Um, what's your name–"

Ed stood suddenly and strode towards the kids, a look of deep concentration on his face. Sirius put himself in between the blond and his godson, but the teen pushed right past him to stand directly in front of Harry.

Everyone watched in silence as Edward ran his eyes over the Boy-Who-Lived, scrutinizing every detail. Finally, after almost a minute, the blond's face melted into a look of pure joy.

"Harry, was it?" Nod. "Do you have an extra soul?"

"…WHAT?!" Harry's exclamation of surprise was accompanied by the sound of everyone else voicing their shock. "What are you–?"

"Ah, here it is." Ed had used his flesh hand to push up the bangs covering Harry's forehead and was staring at the boy's lightning-shaped scar. "Who would have thought I would get a chance like this so soon..." He trailed off happily before looking back at Harry. "I hope you don't mind if I use this– actually, I don't care if you do mind. I want to get home."

Before anyone could recover from their shock, Edward clapped his mismatched hands together, the unusually loud sound echoing through the room. Ed then slapped both hands onto Harry's scar, and blue lightning erupted out of nowhere.

"Hey! Get away from my–" Sirius fired a spell at Ed, but the azure light surrounding the blond soaked up the magic like it was nothing. Before all of their eyes, Edward began flaking into pieces, but the still-grinning teen didn't seem the least bit concerned.

"Truth, you better put me near Briggs this time, or so help me–" Ed's entire body suddenly dissolved into specks of light that were instantly zapped away by the mysterious lightning, which itself then vanished as quickly as it had come.

Silence.

The residents of the Black house stared at each other. _What just…?_

There was no sign of Ed, not even a strand of blond hair. The only evidence that the teen had ever existed were Remus's sore shoulder and Harry's–

"…Harry, where's your scar?"

As everyone crowded around the scar-deprived young wizard, Sirius made his way down to the kitchen.

He was done. Just flat out done. It didn't matter that Dumbledore would probably be arriving soon and would be expecting answers. Sirius Black was officially done for the day, and nothing was going to get in his way.

 _I'm going to need another pot of coffee._


	2. The UnVeiling

a/n: Right, I wasn't planning on continuing this story, but I had this nagging idea that wouldn't go away, so I said, "To heck with it" and wrote it anyway. However, _because_ I decided to write a second part, the story will need a third chapter in order to be complete. In other words: Watch out for the next update! It may take a while as my main focus is on _A Study in Alchemy_ , but it will be done...eventually.  
Hope you guys enjoy this as much as the first chapter.

~~~v~~~ = Time Shift

~o(0)o~ = Viewpint change

* * *

 **Gate Crasher 2: UnVeiling**

 _Little Harry Potter…_

 _You can't even save those closest to you. How long has it been since you've seen your godfather, hmm? We're_ _definitely_ _not torturing him in a place that starts with Department and ends in Mysteries. You'll never find him, and you're too much of a wimp to attack us._

 _– Voldemort & Co._

 _P.S. This is totally_ _not_ _a trap. Promise._

The Golden Trio looked at the letter that had been tied to a rock and thrown through Harry's window. Ever since the connection between the Dark Lord and Harry had been lost, the Death Eaters had been going to further and further lengths to get the kids' attention.

"This has to be a trap." Hermione stated bluntly. "You can't go, Harry."

The Boy-Without-A-Scar threw his hands in the air dramatically. "But what if it's not?! What if Voldemort is killing Sirius and we're doing nothing to stop it?!"

"You idiot!" Hermione smacked Harry upside the head with her Charms textbook. "We would have heard something from the Order if he had been captured."

"But what if they don't know!" Harry whined.

"More likely that they wouldn't tell us." Ron mumbled. "With them thinkin' we're just little kids who can't protect ourselves an' all."

"Exactly!" Harry exclaimed, slapping his friend on the back. "Come _on_ Hermione. We should at least check to make sure." The girl still looked skeptical. "How bad could it possibly be?"

~o(0)o~

(Later in the Department of Mysteries)

"I _TOLD_ you, Harry!" Hermione screamed at him as the Order members burst into the room, spells flying. She pointed an angry finger at the figure of Harry's godfather as he blasted a Death Eater with a curse. "I _TOLD_ you that Sirius was fine! But did you listen? _Noooo~"_

"Alright, alright, Hermione." Harry rolled his eyes. "You were right. I can see now that Sirius is perfectly fi–"

At that moment, a blast of light from Bellatrix's wand hit Harry's godfather square in the chest, sending him flying backwards in graceful slow-motion into the conveniently placed Veil.

Silence. Then–

"Bloody Hell, Hermione!" Ron shouted. "You just _had_ to jinx us!"

~o(0)o~

" _My, My. This is strange. You are not supposed to come here, Little Wizard."_

The voice echoed around Sirius, causing him to open the eyes that he had not remembered closing. Around him was nothing, and yet the nothing was everything– endless white stretching on and on for as far as the eye could see. _Where had the voice come from?_

 _"I'm over here, Little Wizard."_

Sirius turned around. Behind him, the void of white was broken by an enormous set of grey, stone doors decorated with intricate carvings. In front of the doors sat a figure; a white shadow the same color as the milky-white surroundings. It gave a small wave with a hand that looked surprisingly like flesh, but it did not seem like a friendly wave to Sirius– more like the being had decided to acknowledge the presence of an insect before squishing it.

"Where am I?" He asked. _How did I get here? What was I just doing?_

A wide grin appeared on what Sirius assumed was the creature's face, and it cackled. " _You are nowhere and everywhere."_ It answered cryptically. " _You are far beyond the world you once knew, and have fallen into a place_ _your_ _kind was never supposed to go."_

"…Well, thanks for nothing. That didn't answer any of my questions." Sirius glanced around him again. "Who _are_ you? Do you live here all alone? Because I would think that would get _super_ boring in a place like this." The wizard hoped he wouldn't be stuck here for long. The pale guy didn't seem the chatty type, and he couldn't see anything to play or mess around with in this wasteland of white nothingness.

The being frowned. _"Are you implying I get lonely? I am One, I am All, I am both Everything and Nothing– Some call me god, others The Truth; I am Everyone, and I am…well, you are a wizard, so technically I am_ _not_ _you…but I am everyone else!"_ The being shook its flesh fist. " _And the Truth does not get lonely!"_

Sirius crossed his arms. "Mhm. Sure. You keep telling yourself that, bud. I know lonely when I see it." He reached around to his back pocket, looking for his wand. _If there's a way out of here, magic should–_

The second that Sirius's fingers met the smooth wood, it all came back:

 _Rushing to save Harry…_

 _Fighting with Bellatrix…_

 _Getting hit by her spell…_

 _Falling through the Veil…_

Sirius blinked and looked at his surroundings with new understanding. "…Shit. Am I dead?"

" _What do you think?"_

"Well, this sure doesn't look like heaven…and it's not quite what I pictured as hell…but my I'm not really keen being dead, so I'd say I'm still alive." Sirius nodded to himself as he finished his assessment.

" _…You believe that simply not wanting to be dead will make you alive?"_ The being asked incredulously.

"Are you telling me that I _am_ dead?"

" _No, but– Argh!"_ The ivory figure smacked its fist on the ground. " _You know what? I don't have to deal with this. Normally I would have just wiped your memory and sent you back home, but I'm not letting you off that easily!"_

"Um, sure. I'm not all that fond of getting my memories erased." Sirius interjected. "Actually, completely different subject:" The animagus pointed at Truth's flesh arm and leg. "Are you really into body paint, or were you just born freaky?"

" _These are not_ _my_ _limbs."_ The Truth grinned, happily back in control of the conversation. " _This is the price another paid for entering my domain uninvited."_

"Ah," Sirius took a step away from the creepy figure. "I take back what I said earlier, then. I'm good with loosing some memories."

Truth decided to ignore him and simply snapped his fingers. The gigantic stone doors behind him began to grind open, thousands of pitch-black, grasping hands spilling out from the darkness beyond.

" _Lumos_ _!"_ Sirius shouted desperately as he pointed his wand at the Gate, but no light sprang from his wand. " _Colloportus!"_ The doors made no sign of closing, but kept opening wider, the hands inside drawing closer and closer to the wizard.

" _Your magic has no effect here, Little Wizard."_ Truth taunted. " _I would recommend you not struggle– it only delays the inevitable."_

"I'm sorry I called you lonely!" Sirius was grasping at straws. He was trying to run– to do anything to get away from those onyx hands– but despite his efforts, the hands drew closer as if he wasn't moving at all. The wizard gasped as he felt nothing touch his ankle– the nothingness of the dark void, compressed into a reaching form. As soon as that hand touched him, he felt another, and another, and another still until the hands were no longer reaching but pulling– pulling him backwards towards the fully opened Gate. While he watched, a huge eye opened up in the darkness beyond, terrible in it's singularity and unsurpassed knowledge. He had no words left, his terror robbing him of his voice yet fueling his struggles.

" _Bye, bye Little Wizard."_ Truth smile mockingly. " _There is a way back home if you are lucky enough to find it."_ The being tutted softly and shook his finger at Sirius, who was sending him his worst glare. " _Now, now. At least be thankful you already know someone there. Otherwise I doubt you would survive long. Though.."_ The alabaster shadow grinned it's trademark smirk. " _Your chances are still not the best."_

With a sudden jerk, the hands pulled Sirius into the Gate and the stone doors shut behind him, sending him Truth-knows where.

" _…I do_ _not_ _get lonely."_

~o(0)o~

Ed grumbled softly as the forest passed by outside the window of the car. _Why does Hohenheim get to drive?_

They had all piled into the car to go to Central, leaving behind the wounded chimeras and that wimpy guy ( _Nyoki? Toki? Ah, forget it._ Ed thought.)to watch over Al and Pride in their prison. Now Hohenheim, who had already been on Ed's bad side after not telling him the plan to use his little brother to capture Pride, was the one driving. Not that _Ed_ could drive…but still, it was doing nothing to improve his mood.

"Are we almost there–" Ed was cut off when his face suddenly introduced itself to the seat in front of him as Hohenheim slammed on the brakes. "Ack! What the hell was that for?"

The teen peered around the seat to yell at his father, but stopped when he saw the look of concentration on his face as the older man stared into trees. Ed was just about to ask what was happening we he felt it– a sickeningly familiar gathering of energies. The hair on the back of his neck stood up and his mind could hear the intangible whispers of a place he hoped never to visit again.

"Uh, are you guys okay?" Gelso asked, looking between the two alchemists.

"The Gate." Ed muttered to himself. Hohenheim nodded.

Crack! A bolt of blue lightning came out of the afternoon sky to strike the ground somewhere beneath the trees. Even from here, they could all make out the sound of great, stone doors slamming shut. Without another word, Ed and Hohenheim kicked open the car doors and went sprinting towards where the lightning had struck.

Ed clapped his hands together as he ran, transmuting his automail into his signature blade. He was a little surprised to see that Hohenheim was able to keep up with him, but it wasn't the time to question such things.

"Homunculus?" Ed asked.

"No, though there's too much energy flying around to be certain." The man answered without breaking his stride.

Soon enough the pair crashed into a small clearing where a figure lay sprawled on its side. Ed went to go charging forward, but Hohenheim snagged the hood of his red coat and pulled him back.

"Let me go!"

"We should wait." Hohenheim cautioned. "We don't know who or what it is."

Ed huffed and crossed his arms, but stopped struggling. He squinted at the figure, trying to make out more details. It looked relatively like a person from what Ed could see, and the clothes it wore were strange yet familiar…

"Wait a second…" Ed walked forward cautiously, brushing aside the hand that reached out to stop him. "There is no way…" He needed to see the person's face. If this was who he thought it might be…

He walked around the man– he could tell that it was a man by now– and froze.

"Edward?" Hohenheim called out.

"…Shit."

~o(0)o~

Sirius was slowly woken by the bumping and bouncing of riding in a car. _How did I…_

"Ah!" He sat up with a start, crying out in distress as the memories of those grasping hands came back to him. He found he couldn't move his arms, and darkness was all around him– wait, no, there was something covering his head. He tried to calm his breathing, but he couldn't help jumping again when gruff voice shouted from beside him.

"Fullmetal! He's awake."

The movement of the car immediately stopped, and Sirius heard the sound of doors opening and people moving around. _Where am I? Who are these people?_ Sirius wondered. _Are they working for You-Know-Who?_

The wizard flinched as rough hands grabbed him, though the feeling was completely different from the black hands that had reached for him only moments ago. He felt himself being lifted from the seat of the car, and could tell from the light breeze that he was now outside. The person handling him must have been quite strong, for he was carried for a long while before being set down on a hard surface, presumably a rock. Without warning, the thing covering his face was jerked off, leaving the animagus squinting at his brightened surroundings. The rope around his arms remained, but that was the least of the wizard's concerns.

"Who are you and what are you doing here." The voice was kinder than the last and came from a man standing directly in front of him. The man appeared middle-aged, with long, blond hair pulled back in a ponytail and a beard of the same color. He seemed familiar to Sirius– so familiar that the wizard began running through a mental list of Order members and enemy Aurors.

When the man stared at him expectantly, Sirius realized that he hadn't answered the man's question. "Uh," He decided to go for the honest approach. "I really have no idea how I got here. There was this really pale guy who was kind of freaky, and–"

Sirius stopped talking, straightening as he felt the cool metal of a blade touch his throat. The person behind him didn't speak, but the blond in front of Sirius frowned.

"Please do not take this lightly. We do not have time for lies or jokes."

"It's not a–" But Sirius was interrupted.

"What is your purpose here?"

Well, Sirius had no idea where he was, so he didn't really have a purpose. However, it didn't seem like these people were willing to accept that answer.

"I was trying to rescue my godson when someone hit me with a spell." From behind him, Sirius felt the knife holder stiffen, but he continued, "I can't tell you specifics, but–"

"Where were you?" The blond asked.

"London, England."

A soft curse came from behind him, and finally the knife holder spoke up. "Alright, it's him." The voice was so familiar that Sirius could almost picture the face that belonged to a name just out of his reach.

"Who are you?" Sirius tried. "Why do you two seem so familiar?"

Unexpectedly, the wizard was spun around to face his captor. Unforgettable, striking, golden eyes stared into his own. "It's been a while, Sirius."

"…Ed?!" Sirius couldn't believe it– it was the teen who had shown up injured at his house months ago only to steal Harry's scar and then zap away in a storm of blue light. "What– You– I– When–?" Sirius babbled incoherently.

Ed raised an eyebrow at him. "For all that hocus-pocus stuff you always talked about, you can't put together a sentence worth shit, can you?" He lowered the knife from Sirius's neck. The wizard's eyes widened when he realized that the blade was actually fused to the teen's metal right arm.

"How do you sleep with that?" Sirius blurted out before his brain could catch up to his mouth. Seeing the incredulous look the teen wore, he elaborated. "I mean, uh, do you put a cover on it so you don't accidentally slice your foot off?"

Ed got a mischievous glint in his eyes that reminded Sirius eerily of the twins. "How do you think I got this?" He asked rhetorically, lifting up his left pant leg to reveal a prosthetic leg.

 _What am I supposed to say to that?!_ Sirius searched for a response, having never expected his hypothetical situation could have happened. "Oh, uh–" He stuttered. "Em…sorry? I shouldn't have asked about a sensitive topic–"

"Edward." The older blond man interrupted, his tone disapproving. "Now is not the time for jokes."

Ed grumbled and let his pant leg fall back into place. Sirius watched curiously as the teen clapped his hands together– much like he had the night the blond had left Grimmauld Place– and placed a gloved hand to the blade on his other arm. A flurry of blue sparks flashed across the metal limb, and the wizard's eyes widened as the blade seemed to melt into the metal of the prosthetic.

"How did you do that?"

Ed didn't bother looking at the wizard as he stood. "Alchemy. I would think after using that stick-voodoo whatchamacallit that something like this wouldn't phase you."

"But you did it without a wand!" Sirius protested.

"Alchemy doesn't need one." Was all the reply he got before Ed turned to call into the woods. "You guys done checking the area yet? We need to move out if we want to make it to Central on time."

"Yeah. No sign of anything." The voice was the same as the one Sirius had heard when he had first awoken. As he watched, two burly figures made their way out of the trees and came to stand next to the older blond. One was on the chubbier side, while the other was tall, lean, and sported a pair of spectacles. Both of the newcomers wore blue military uniforms, though Sirius thought that their gruff mugs would have been better suited to working as grunts for a mob boss.

The fat man squinted at Sirius suspiciously. "You sure this guy isn't a threat, Fullmetal?"

Ed waved away the question with his prosthetic hand. "Nah, without his magic stick he can't put up much of a fight." The teen's golden eyes appraised Sirius. "Though we could still take him if he got it back."

What Ed had said clicked in Sirius's head, and the wizard squirmed in his bonds, trying to get a look at his back pocket.

"Looking for this?" The wizard turned to see Ed twirling his wand between his fingers lazily.

"Give that back!"

"Edward, we really do need to be going. Are we leaving the man here or taking him with us?" The older blond man asked.

"What do you want, Sirius?" Ed wondered. "Not that your opinion matters the slightest in this situation."

Sirius opened his mouth to reply, but found that he didn't have an answer. Should he try to go with them, or did he want the strange teen and his menacing companions to go away? Which way would be the quickest route back home? Where _was_ home?

"Sirius, do you trust me?" Ed asked suddenly, interrupting the wizard's thoughts.

"Um, no offense, but no."

Ed nodded noncommittally. "I wouldn't expect you to." Without warning, those golden eyes were suddenly boring into Sirius. "You seemed like a reasonable man when we last met. Would you be willing to come to an agreement that would benefit the both of us?"

"Possibly…" Sirius hedged. "It depends on what the agreement is." A thought passed through his mind. "More of that 'Equivalent Exchange' business you used to talk about?"

A calculating smirk made its way onto Ed's face, thought the piercing stare of the teen's eyes remained the same. "Exactly." He agreed. "Are you a fighter, Sirius?"

~~~v~~~

Sirius, his hands now unbound, sat squished uncomfortably between Ed and the older blond man as their car raced down a dirt road. The wizard had been given his wand back as well, though it had yet to be explained what Sirius would have to give in return. He had been hustled towards the car with the excuse that they needed to get moving and the assurance that he would be given an explanation on the way.

The car was awkwardly quiet, something that Sirius was never very comfortable with. After drawing a breath, the wizard broke the silence.

"And you are…?" He directed the question at the older man on his left.

The blond man smiled and held out his hand to Sirius. "The name's Von Hohenheim. I'm Edward's father–"

"Don't try to make us sound all chummy, Bastard." Ed growled from Sirius's other side.

"–though he doesn't think of me as such." Hohenheim finished with a sigh.

"I don't think I could stand being in the same car as you, old man, if it weren't the fact that there's a war going on." Ed threw back offhandedly.

"Welcome to my world." Sirius grumbled, thinking of all the times he had been forced to work with Snape during the unending fight against Voldemort.

"No," Ed corrected, his face suddenly much more serious. "Welcome to mine."

"What?" Somehow, Sirius could tell that Ed hadn't been talking about the fighting.

The blond teen sighed. "Look, Sirius, remember when I showed up at your house and had never heard of England?" The wizard nodded. "Well, there's no amount of traveling by boat, car, or train that can get you back there. You said you saw a white figure and a grey, stone Gate? That means your in my world now, Sirius, and you're a long way from home."

The car was silent as Sirius tried to process the implications of that new piece of _slightly_ terrifying information.

"So…" Sirius finally started. "Are there any wizards here?"

"Nope."

"You-Know-Who?"

"I still have no idea who that is."

"Magic?"

"Only alchemy. Though," Ed paused. "Truth did let you keep that ludicrous twig of yours, so it might work for you." The teen gestured at Sirius's wand. "Try something."

"Here?"

"We're not stopping the car until we get to Central, so yes, here."

Sirius tried think of a spell that would be possible to use in the close-quarters of the vehicle. " _Lumos._ "

Blinding white light burst from the tip of Sirius's wand, causing everyone to cry out in surprise and the man driving the car to swerve.

"Put it out!" Someone shouted, but Sirius was already shaking away the enchantment.

"Warn us next time, Sirius." Ed grumbled, blinking his eyes as he tried to readjust them.

Sirius looked at his wand in confusion. "Sorry, it's never been so powerful before."

"Really?" Hohenheim asked, sounding like he thought that that wasn't a good thing.

"Oh, come on, old man." Ed smiled grimly. "The more firepower to take down Father, the better."

Sirius raised and eyebrow. "Father? I thought Hohenheim was your dad."

Ed crossed his arms behind his head. "I'll let you do the explaining this time, old man."

The wizard looked over to Hohenheim, who sighed and shifted in his seat to more fully face Sirius. "Of course. You probably don't want to charge in blind to this fight."

~~~v~~~

 _Right. So this world is in an even bigger mess than the one I left. Great. Just great._ Now that Sirius knew the basics of what Ed and company were dealing it, he was almost homesick for the wizarding war back home. Somehow, in some crazy, messed-up way of logic, the fight against Voldemort now seemed a simple thing.

It had taken only an hour of driving to reach the place Ed kept calling Central, which was where Hohenheim had explained the 'Father' dude (Sirius figured he was this world's equivalent to Voldemort) had his secret base. After a bit of walking, the group had met up with a few others, one man with white hair and red eyes standing out as particularly intimidating.

 _Honestly._ Sirius thought to himself as he glanced at the people around him. _If I hadn't already known Ed, I would have expected_ _these_ _people to be the bad guys._

Instead, here he was, having agreed to fight with the blond teen in hopes that Ed could find a way to get Sirius back home.

"There are two guards standing by the gate. Do we charge them?" The chubby man asked.

Sirius peeked over the bushes they were all crouched behind to get a glimpse of what they were facing. Two men, military by the looks of their uniforms and guns, stood guard at the entrance to a walled-in complex of low, stone buildings. There was a large, open space between the gate and where the group was hiding, meaning that the soldiers would have time to shoot at least two of them before anyone made it close enough to attack. What they needed was a distraction, and Sirius knew just how to provide it.

Ed started to stand. "Alright, I'll–"

"I can take this one, Ed." Sirius interrupted. The blond looked questioningly at him, but the wizard simply grinned. "Just be ready to knock them out, alright?"

Not waiting for Ed's reply, Sirius began crawling through the bushes. As the leaves brushed past him, the animagus let his body slip into the form of a large, black dog.

The guards looked surprised to see a friendly canine trotting towards them from the woods, looking back and forth between each other and Sirius. Once he was only a few feet away, Sirius sat back on his haunches and let his tongue loll out happily, trying to look as cute and distracting as possible.

One of the men set down his rifle and held out a hand to the wizard. "Hey, boy, what're you doing over here? Do you live nearby–Ack!" The man was cut off as Ed's booted foot suddenly smashed into his face, sending him flying into the wall where he lay unconscious. The other man had no time to even lift up his gun when the blond teen was standing in front of him, a solid punch to the jaw making sure neither of the soldiers would be alerting the authorities any time soon.

Sirius shifted back into human form and was about to complement Ed on his effectiveness, when the wizard found himself pinned to the ground, the blade on Ed's arm once again pressed against his throat.

"Who are you?" Ed growled, the furious expression on the teen's face causing Sirius to stifle the indignant exclamation he had been about to throw at the blond.

"What do you mean?"

"No games!" The knife pressed down harder–not enough to break skin, but leaving no doubts about Ed's conviction. "Who are you?"

"Sirius Black! Who the hell do you think I am?"

"Are you a chimera?"

"A camera?" Now Sirius was confused.

Ed looked frustrated. "Don't move." He commanded.

Sirius watched warily as the blade moved away from his throat and down to his arm. "Hey, what are you–Ow!"

The teen stared at the shallow cut he had made on the wizard's arm, watching intently as a small drop of blood welled up in the wound and trickled down Sirius's skin. Ed released a deep sigh, all of the tension going out of his body as he slid off of Sirius and helped the wizard up from the ground.

"Sorry. I needed to check."

"Check what?" Sirius asked sarcastically as he pressed a hand to the cut. "That I can bleed?"

"Yes." That was Hohenheim, walked out from the trees with the rest of the group. "The beings we face are not capable of bleeding."

Sirius's mouth fell open into a silent "oh."

"You should have told us about that ability of yours, Sirius." Ed complained. "You're lucky I didn't just stab you before checking."

"Um, yeah, sorry. I appreciate being stab-free, thank you."

"So are you a chimera like us?" The fat guy asked.

"No idea what that means, so I'm gonna say 'no' to that." Sirius replied. "I'm an animagus–though I'm not a registered one, so I would appreciate it if you kept this a secret."

"Interesting." Ed circled the wizard, eyeing him critically. "Can you turn into any animal, or only a dog?"

"Edward, we don't have time for this." Hohenheim reminded. He gestured at the gates. "We need to find Father as soon as possible."

"Right." Ed started towards the gates, throwing a glance back to Sirius. "Don't think this conversation is over, though."

~~~v~~~

 _Shit shit shit shit shit. What the hell is_ _wrong_ _with this world?_ Sirius thought as he desperately dodged the gaping jaws of a pale, zombie-like figure. Swarming around him were dozens more, and it was all that he and Ed's company could do to keep from being torn to shreds.

" _Locomotor Mortis!"_ The spell shot hit one of the monsters, making it fall to the ground as it's legs refused to move. " _Petrificus Totalus!"_ Another one froze in place, it's single eye rolling around madly in it's socket as it tried to figure out what had happened to it's body.

"Sirius!" Ed's voice shouted over the combat. "You have anything more powerful?"

" _Reducto_!" The wizard's answer came in the form of three monsters exploding into dust. "Like that?"

"Better." Ed admitted.

The battle kept raging, a seemingly infinite number of immortal puppets pouring out from the white room's stone doors. The wizard knew it was only a matter of time before one of them went down. Sirius's spells were coming slower despite desperation egging him on with every second. The two soldiers who had turned into porcupine and frog-like creatures were running out of ammunition, Hohenheim had split off from them before they got into this room, and Ed–

"Shit!" The teen, having just dispatched one of the monsters with his spear, found a pale hand gripping onto his ankle, keeping him in place. From behind, a mob of puppets lunged towards the blond, who would be unable to get his weapon around in time.

"Ed!" Sirius cried out, knowing neither he nor the others would be able to make it.

Snap.

KABOOM! FWOOSH!

A torrent of flames exploded across the mob of monsters, incinerating them instantly while leaving Ed unharmed. Smoke and rubble drifted through the air, and in the momentary silence, a calm voice floated through the ashes. "So you're the one who's responsible for the unconscious guards upstairs?"

Sirius turned to the doorway as the dust settled to see a man and woman standing there, the man holding one hand out as if he had just snapped. A cocky grin stretched across the man's face as he looked over at Ed.

"You look like you could use a hand, Fullmetal."

Sirius stood warily from his defensive crouch. Was the man a friend or enemy?

"You sure have a back for showing up at the last second," Ed commented as he turned to face the man with a smirk. "Don't you, _Colonel_?"

 _Ah, a friend, then._ Sirius concluded.

The Colonel, as Ed had called him, glanced around the room, his gaze landing on the wizard– particularly on the wand he held.

"And who are you?" The colonel asked suspiciously.

"He's on our side." Ed interrupted, swishing his spear impatiently. Across the room, the doll soldiers were regaining their footing. "I'll catch you up later, but for now, would you stop standing there and help out?"

Snap.

This time, Sirius saw a sparks of red energy–much like Ed's blue lightning–moments before another explosion decimated the attacking monsters.

"If you need help with these pitiful things, you've still got a long way to go, Fullmetal."

~~~v~~~

 _What's next?_

After finishing off the dolls, jumping to avoid being squished when the ceiling began collapsing, and fighting a shape-shifting palm tree (who then somehow ended up being a worm that killed itself), Sirius was beginning to seriously wonder how anyone managed to survive in this world. So far he had only seen soldiers, monsters, and odd combinations of both, but surely there were normal people somewhere. _War can't be all there is, right?_

Sirius really hoped so. _Really_ hoped so, because if not, then he wasn't sure he was going to live long enough to find a way back home–if there even was one.

"Who are you?" Sirius shook himself from his thoughts at Ed's question. They had just entered a new room, this one full of pipes and illuminated by an unseen light coming from a large hole in the center of the room's ceiling.

"Who am _I?"_ Right. There was also a creepy old man standing spotlighted in the room's center. "I'm the man who created King Bradley." He announced dramatically.

At that moment, almost as if it had been rehearsed, a dozen or so sword-wielding figures dropped from the hole and charged at Sirius's group.

The fighting began again, and Sirius was sure the others back home would have applauded the way his spell casting had improved. The wizard had discovered, after running out of breath sometime during the fight with the palm tree, that he didn't need to say his spells for them to work–just _thinking_ them was enough to do the job. Just like the _Lumos_ spell had been in the car, it seemed practically every spell he cast had twice the amount of punch he was used to packing (not that he was complaining).

"Number 16, 17, 21, 23, 26; come here."

 _What now?_ Sirius almost groaned aloud. He shot off another silent spell and turned to face the creepy old guy. Next to him, Ed did the same, and together they watched as the old man slammed a hand down onto a carved circle on the floor.

"What the–!" Ed started.

Red lightning crackled around the room, and the air turned as thick as mud. There was something familiar about this ominous feeling, and Sirius didn't like it one bit.

A sudden intake of breath from Ed had Sirius looking down at the alchemist's feet, where a large, purple eye had opened underneath the blond. Before the teen could jump away, his legs were gone–dissolving into tiny particles just the way they had back at Grimmauld Place.

"Not again!" The alchemist cried out desperately.

"Oh, no you don't!" This was his chance, and Sirius was not going to miss it for the world– _his_ world. Without thinking, the wizard shoved his wand in his back pocket and grabbed onto Ed's disappearing form with both hands.

 _It's working!_ Sirius realized when his arms began flaking into pieces. Then the pain of being broken apart hit him.

 _Crap!_ He would have shouted, had his mouth not disintegrated a second before. _It's working!_

Just before the deconstruction reached his head, Sirius heard the Colonel call out Ed's name, but it was too late to do anything. The world went black and numb as the devilish lightning stole away the wizard's body.

For the longest time there was nothing, but then–

" _Hello~ Little Wizard."_


	3. Back to the Future

a/n: Well...this took a while to get out. I really have no excuse other than the sudden and irresistible temptation to work on other stories, but at least I finally got it out! Now that this is done, I'll be able to focus on ASIA and several other fics that are in the works.  
Many thanks to all of you who are following this story or wrote reviews. This is one of my favorite fics to write (even with the horrible update times), and it is great to know that people love it like I do. Thanks!

Without further ado: the final installment of Gate Crasher!

Key:  
 _When will the story start? =_ thoughts  
"Soon?" = talking  
" _You could always just start reading."_ = Truth talking or magnified voices  
~o(0)o~ = viewpoint change  
~~~v~~~ = time skip

* * *

 **Gate Crasher 3: Back to the Future**

White. Ivory stretching to an invisible horizon. The only things left in existence were an ominous gate of grey stone, Sirius, and–

" _Hello~ Little Wizard."_

Sirius cursed inwardly at the sight of a horribly familiar grin. Apparently, not everyone kept their curses silent.

"Dammit, Truth!"

Sirius spun around to see Ed pushing himself up from the milky floor. The blond's golden eyes raged with the same fire that spilled from his tongue as the alchemist advance menacingly on the Gate's guardian, proving that his vocabulary had become even more colorful since his visit to the Black estate. The pale shadow's grin significantly dimmed.

" _Oh…Mr. Alchemist. I…have been expecting you?"_

Sirius snorted at the obvious uncertainty in the being's voice. "Sure you were."

"Doesn't matter." Ed crossed his mismatched arms in front of his chest. "Why am I here and how do I get back?"

" _You_ _are not supposed to be here at all, Mr. Alchemist,"_ The alabaster silhouette propped its chin against its single, flesh palm. " _but wizards and alchemy do not readily mix, and you were dragged into my domain as the result."_ Ed cursed, and Truth's grin returned. " _What's the matter, Mr. Alchemist? You loved to bargain before: what changed your mind?"_ The smile mocked the alchemist, stretching impossibly wide across the pale face. " _Afraid it'll cost an arm and a leg?"_

The blond looked ready to strangle that taunting smirk, but Sirius felt his jaw drop as he finally made the connection.

"Those are your limbs." He muttered numbly. The alchemist turned to face him, confusion plain on his features. Sirius pointed from Truth's two splotches of peachy color to Ed's automail. "He has your real arm and leg!"

Truth cackled, " _I told you that there were consequences for entering my domain, Little Wizard!"_

"Why…?" Sirius began, conflicted on why Ed would ever bargain with the grinning jerk.

The blond sighed, as if explaining took too much energy he would rather put to use pummeling the Gatekeeper. "Sins come at a price, Sirius."

The wizard felt an irrational anger begin to rise within him at the alchemist's flippant tone. "So you make a deal with the devil?" _What did he gain? Power? Wealth? Was he seeking immortality like Voldemort?_ "Was it worth it?"

Ed's steely-gold glare silenced the wizard, his left hand coming up to touch the cold steel of his prosthetic. The alchemist took a deep breath before answering, and Sirius thought his eyes softened just slightly. "No deal with Truth ever is. Hey," Ed turned to face the grinning being, jerking a metal thumb at the wizard as he asked flippantly, "Can I trade Al for this idiot?"

"Hey!"

"Just kidding." Sirius did not appreciate Ed's sense of humor. "Stay out of my past, will you? It shouldn't matter." The blond turned back to the pale silhouette. "You know I'm not in a position to barter anything, Truth, so you better not expect me to pay for this little detour."

" _Mmm,"_ The being shifted its shoulders as if weighing its options. _"You may be right, Mr. Alchemist,"_ It began after a while, _"But I can't just send you back for free, now can I?"_

Ed raised one eyebrow. "Can't you?"

Something was bothering Sirius. "Hey, why do you call me 'Little Wizard' but call Ed 'Mr. Alchemist'?"

"Shut up, Sirius." Ed tossed over his shoulder. "What are you plotting, Truth?"

" _Well~ the Little Wizard needs to go home, so~"_ The white figure snapped and the Gate's doors began sliding open to reveal thousands of shadowy hands. " _Why not send you with him?"_

Sirius pumped his fist, "Yes!" He was going home!

"Hell no!" Right…Ed wasn't going to be all that happy.

~~~v~~~

"…" The stolen copy of _The Daily Prophet_ fell from Sirius's numb fingers, but the wizard didn't notice. _Dumbledore dead? Snape headmaster? Voldemort expected to attack Hogwarts? Has the world fallen apart since I was gone? And the date… the date_ _can't_ _be right. It can't be!_

 _…But if it is…_ "I've been gone nearly two years?" _But I've been gone less than a day? Wait, does Harry think I'm dead? How could Truth–_

Sirius straightened and looked around the empty street. "Hold on…Where the hell did Ed go?"

~o(0)o~

"Dammit, Truth!" Ed dove to the ground to avoid yet another chunk of stone flying through the air. "What is this? A war zone?"

Several times he tried to rise, only to frantically duck a piece of rubble or jets of colored light. Resigned to staying down, Ed glanced around the destroyed corridor. Right next to him were the remains of a destroyed wall, and near his left foot–

"Hey!" Ed hissed. "You alive?" There was no reaction from the head of bloodied, red hair, but Ed knew better than to assume the worst. Making sure to keep his head low to the ground, the alchemist scooted backwards until his face was level with the other man's. With surprise, Ed actually recognized the pale face and sightless eyes that greeted him; it was Fred–or was it George?–one of the twins he had briefly seen while he was at Sirius's house. If Ed was going solely based on height, it was obvious that significant time had passed since he had last seen him. A flick of his eyes showed that the twin was wearing a torn, dusty set of casual clothing, but there were no obvious signs of injuries besides the crimson trickled that had traced its way from his hair to his jaw line.

Ed tugged his left glove off with his teeth before pressing his fingers to the red head's neck. The alchemist breathed a sigh of relief when he felt a fluttering pulse beneath his flesh fingertips.

"Good. Alright. Good." The blond muttered to himself as he continued his examination, using his hand to gingerly search for injuries. "Concussion? Likely. Broken ribs? No: _one_ broken, two fractured. What, does this kid sleep with his eyes open?"

Of course, there was no way Ed could have known that the Weasley twins did in fact _both_ sleep with their eyes open–a hard-earned skill put to valiant use in many a prank.

The alchemist paused to think for a moment before brining his palms together in a clap that was lost in the sounds of battle around them. Placing one hand on the redhead's chest and the other on his head, Ed did what he could to relieve pressure and strengthen bone. _Thank Truth alkahestry doesn't count as human transmutation._ Another clap, and the wizard's outfit alchemically hemmed to create bandages.

"Right. Now to get out of here." A short clap created a small hole in the floor that revealed the presence of another hallway beneath them, this one miraculously clear of rubble and dueling wizards. "Hang on." The useless warning was accompanied by the buzz of alchemical lightning, and the floor melted from beneath the pair.

Ed–having expected the fall– landed in a crouch, stretching out am arm to lower the unconscious wizard to the ground.

"Bloody Hell!" The alchemist's head jerked up at the female voice. "Wotcha– _Fred?"_

 _Oh, so this one is Fred._ Ed glanced from Fred back to the woman. "You know this kid?"

The witch's expression had become guarded once she realized that Fred wasn't alone, her graceful features tightening beneath bright pink hair. "Yeah? And who're you?" Ed didn't miss the way her wand was trained unwaveringly at his heart. _Smart. She knows it makes a better target than the head._

"Not an enemy." Normally, Ed would have asked the woman's name, but he had other concerns at the moment. "Do you know where I can find Sirius Black?"

~o(0)o~

"Anybody home?" Sirius cursed as his voice echoed through the Black house with only silence for a reply. Where was everyone?

Sirius glanced at the rolled up _Prophet_ in his fist. "Right. Hogwarts."

As it turned out, being believed dead for two years has its advantages for a wanted man. Sirius was able to apparate from his house to Diagon Alley to Hogsmead without so much as a single scream or pointed wand.

However, the near-abandoned state of Diagon Alley had afforded Sirius a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. So once he had apparated to Hogsmead, the forgotten convict slid gracefully onto his… _acquired_ …broomstick and flew to the borders of Hogwarts as quickly as the _Firebolt_ could manage.

~o(0)o~

"Umm…" Ed wasn't sure what to make of the witch's conflicted, grieving, and slightly angry expression. His mind went back to his first meeting with Sirius and the wizard's reluctance to give his name. _Right…Sirius might be a criminal here…In that case, what should I–_

"I don't have time for this." The woman shook she head and turned away. "I need to find Remus–"

"REMUS!" Remus Lupin: Ed _knew_ that name, and that was good enough for him. _How many 'Remus's could there be?_ After sliding Fred into a relatively safe place behind a statue, the alchemist clambered off the ground and jogged to catch up with the bubble-gum headed witch. "Lead on, Lady."

"…You aren't a Death Eater, are you?" The woman glanced over at the blond who kept pace with her as they weaved and dodged through the battleground. The combatants were a strange mix of children, adults, and shadowy figures wearing masks and cloaks, though Ed noticed the occasional midget-like creature scurrying underfoot.

"Do I look like one?" It was an honest question, seeing as Ed had no idea what a Death Eater was. All else failing, he would place his bet on the masked group.

"I s'pose not, but you're not Order, either."

Ed ducked a jet of scarlet light. "What makes you say that?"

"Easy: I've never met you in my life. Name's Tonks."

The alchemist nodded his understanding. "Ed. I– Watch out!" He dropped into a crouch and used his foot to sweep Tonks's legs from underneath her. An angry green light passed an inch above her head. With a shaken glance in Ed's direction, the witch picked herself up and continued running.

"Thanks."

"No problem." They sped through ruined corridors and raging spell fire, eventually skidding around a corner to find a shabbily-dressed man with brown hair dueling one of the masked figures. They arrived just in time to see the masked wizard fire an orange spell at the man Ed recognized as Lupin. The jet of light managed to graze Lupin's sleeve, cutting through the fabric and immediately drawing blood.

"He hasn't seen us yet," Ed whispered quickly while gesturing at the dark wizard. "So we can still circle around to flank–"

"Get away from Remus!" Tonks cried as she sprinted towards the unmasked wizard.

Ed nearly slapped his own forehead. Was Tonks _trying_ to get Lupin killed?

"Tonks?" Lupin's head swiveled comically at the sound of the woman's voice, and, now distracted from the duel, promptly tripped over a rock. Unfortunately, the masked man had no problem maintaining concentration and firing a bolt green straight at Remus's chest.

"Noooo!" Tonks threw herself between the spell and her fallen husband.

"Oh for crying out loud–!" Ed stepped in front the pair and stuck his automail into the path of the spell.

 _Ping!_ The green light hit the steel prosthetic and bounced off towards the ceiling, leaving all three wizards to stare at the alchemist, stunned.

Ed rolled his eyes. "Come on! I thought you people were wizards– not idiots!"

Of course, the redirected spell chose that moment to bring down several tons of stone ceiling onto their heads.

~o(0)o~

"I never remember the trip from Hogsmead taking this long!" Sirius grumbled as he trudged through the thick brush at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. "The thestrals must know a short-cut."

Having been forced to abandon the lovely _Firebolt_ at the edge of Hogwarts's protective boundary, the presumed-dead, highly annoyed ex-convict was making his way through the forest to get to Hogwarts. He would have taken the road…if it hadn't been full of various monster corpses and looked as if the earth had decided to attack itself. In the distance, Sirius could see a thick cloud of smoke rising from the general direction of the castle. Strangely enough, he couldn't hear any sounds of fighting.

 _Either they managed to repel the Death Eaters, or…_ Sirius began running, praying that Truth wasn't cruel enough to do _that._ Trying to dodge branches and keep his footing was too difficult at that pace, so the animagus slipped into his canine form as he bounded through the dark woods. With the change, everything became sharper: the light more obvious and the shadows nearly vanishing.

Sirius was still a ways from the school when he heard soft footsteps coming from somewhere to his right. Not knowing who or what it was, the animagus slowed down and crept closer, morphing back into his human for so that he could draw his wand. In front of him, Sirius could see the trees thinning into what seemed to be a small clearing. There was a figure standing in the center, but it was too dark to see any details with his human eyes.

" _Lumos."_ A familiar voice whispered, and a grin broke over the animagus's face as the wand light illuminated his favorite godson.

~o(0)o~

Harry closed his eyes as he turned the Resurrection stone over in his hand three times. He knew it had worked when he heard the sound of shifting feet on the twig-strewn ground of the forest.

 _This is it._ Harry opened his eyes and looked around.

Two loving smiles shone back at him– the pale figures of the parents he had only ever seen in pictures. James's hair was the same untidy mess he had passed down to his son, and Lilly's brilliant green eyes reflected her huge smile as she stepped closer to her only child.

"You have been so brave…" She began, but was cut off as another figure crashed loudly into the clearing.

"Harry! Thank Merlin I managed to find you!"

Harry whipped around to face the new threat, wand ready to– "Sirius?" The form of his dead godfather seemed more substantial than Harry's parents (maybe because he hadn't been dead nearly as long?) and looked as if he wanted to crush Harry in a hug. "I-I don't–"

Sirius threw back his head and laughed. "Oh, you have no _idea_ how good it is to be back from the other side. I thought I might never see you again."

Harry glanced incredulously at the small, black stone in his palm. He had thought that it might only bring back his parents, but if it summoned Sirius as well… _Lupin only died tonight, so maybe you have to be dead longer for the Stone to work?_ "Sirius…" The animagus paused at Harry's hesitant tone, raising one eyebrow to make an expression so achingly familiar to Harry that he almost couldn't ask the next question. "Is it quick? Does it hurt?"

Sirius seemed confused for the briefest moment, but then he chuckled. "Quick? Apparently it's been two years, so I wouldn't exactly call it speedy. _Pain_ on the other hand…" The figment of Harry's godfather shuddered, a slightly haunted light shining in his eyes. "Unless you consider the feeling of a thousand fingers tearing you apart piece by piece while your mind is shot through with blinding light to be enjoyable, I do _not_ recommend going through that Veil."

Harry gulped. That hadn't been the answer he was hoping for.

"But hey:" Sirius shrugged, the happy grin coming back to his face. "Everything's good now, so all we need to do is find Ed and–"

"I didn't want you to die," Harry interrupted. The words spilled out before he could stop them. "Any of you. I'm sorry–!" He broke himself off, unable to continue.

"Harry, who's dead? Who died?" Sirius's tone was urgent as he stepped forward, his hands moving to touch Harry's shoulders. Harry pulled away before they could touch–or more accurately _pass through_ him.

"Don't you know?" Harry's throat constricted with grief, but he managed to choke out the names: "Fred and Lupin and Tonks and _you_ are all dead, and it's entirely my fault! I should have–"

"What." The color had drained from Sirius's face, and the figment's knees looked ready to buckle. His godfather ran a shaking hand through his hair as he tried to stay calm. "Explain."

"Harry, dear, I think you may have the wrong idea." Lilly tried to start, but Harry was too wrapped up in his own emotions to hear her.

"If I had been more prepared when the wall exploded, then Fred would still be here." Harry clenched his fists. "Instead we barely had time to realize he was gone before we had to retreat. I-I left his body behind and ran away like a coward!"

"Harry, they're not–" James began, but again, went unnoticed by his son.

"And Remus?" A mask had settled over Sirius's features, making it impossible for Harry to know what was happening in his godfather's head.

"Tonks ran off when she heard Lupin was dueling Dolohov, but by the time the rest of us got there, all we could find was Lupin's wand and a mountain of rubble." Harry's voice cracked with emotion. "And then Dolohov is seen prancing free and unharmed through the halls, gloating about killing two Order members. If only I had killed him at the café instead of _obliviating_ him!"

"…but you don't have their bodies?" Sirius's voice seemed restrained, and when Harry looked at him, he thought he could detect hope in those long-dead eyes.

"No…" Harry mumbled. "Not yet."

Sirius let out a huge sigh of relief, his posture sagging as if the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders. "Good. Great." He jabbed a finger at Harry, his tone growing lighter. " _Never_ assume someone is dead until you see the body– especially if it is a werewolf or a Weasley. I would have thought you had learned that during your third year–" The animagus stopped. "Wait…Did–Did you include me among the dead earlier?"

~o(0)o~

"…d…Ed…wake up, Ed!" The concerned, female voice floated through Edward's darkened consciousness, rousing the alchemist from the depths of sleep and luring him back to reality. Slowly, Ed became aware of the thick dust clogging his nostrils and the warm presence of another person– no, scratch that, at least two people– near his head. Bits of rock were poking into his cheek, but he remained face-down on the rough floor, deciding to find out more about his situation before revealing that he was awake.

"He probably has a concussion." A different voice suggested, this one male.

 _Where am I?_

"Ya think?" Sarcasm dripped from the female voice. "It's a bloody miracle that he didn't crack his skull open on the floor the way he hit it." The world beyond the alchemist's closed eyelids was dark.

 _Am I in a cave? How did I get here?_

"I wish we had some way to get to his legs." The male lamented.

 _Legs?_ That's right: there was a strange pressure on his legs but no feeling. Shouldn't his real leg at least have feeling? Experimentally, Ed attempted to shift his legs from under whatever was holding them.

"Gah!" Ed bit his lip to choke off his shout. It was now painfully clear that his legs were trapped– _crushed–_ under something.

"Ed? Ed, are you awake now?" The alchemist could feel a soft hand place itself on his arm, likely in concern. When he opened his eyes, he found that he had been right earlier: they were in complete darkness.

 _Who are these people? Where's Al?_

Ed let himself recover before trying to speak, pushing down the hot daggers striking out from his leg. "…Yeah," No use hiding it now. "And you are?"

"It's me: Tonks. Remus is here too." The woman replied cautiously. "Are you feelin' alright?"

 _Tonks…Tonks… Where do I know that from– Ah, right: pink hair, witch, knows Remus and maybe Sirius._

"Ha…" Ed allowed himself a pained chuckle. He was definitely _not_ 'feeling alright'. "No, but you said Remus is here? What happened?"

"When the ceiling began falling, you clapped your hands on the ground and then the world went dark. That's all we know." The male voice– presumably Lupin– answered.

The memories came back to Ed then: running forward to block the spell; seeing chunks of ceiling coming down on them; using a transmutation to make a protective dome over the three of them, but not being quick enough for the dome to cover him entirely; and now a pained darkness. Ed used his automail to prop himself off the ground and turned to face Lupin's voice. "I'm guessing you guys don't know how to get out since we're still stuck in here?"

Reums sighed. "I dropped my wand when I tripped."

"And I have no idea where mine went," Tonks added. "So apparating is out."

Ed decided to ignore whatever 'apparating' was. "Is there another floor below this one?" There was a rustling sound, as if someone was nodding, and then an awkward silence.

Lupin sighed heavily, "Yes. The first floor should be right under this one."

"Good." Ed raised his hands, preparing the transmutation in his head. Before encountering Scar, he would have never thought of using the floor as an escape. Now here he was, using it twice in one day. "I'm going to drop us to the next level. Brace yourselves."

"Wait! Shouldn't we try to dig your legs out first?" Tonks asked.

The alchemist smiled grimly into the dark as he clapped. "I'm more of a 'rip the bandage off in one go' type of guy." His hands connected with the floor, and blue sparks filled air. Then there was no floor.

"AAAHH!" _THUD_.

"Nrggh!" Ed buried his face into the crook of his arm, trying to block out the sharp throbs of pain as his legs hit the ground. "Hah…hah…" The blond forced himself to breath normally.

"Hey! Look at that! We're right next to the Great Hall!" Tonk's noted cheerfully, her voice floating though the mist of pain. "Great job, Ed!"

"Merlin, you really _are_ the same Edward that appeared at the Order headquarters a few years back." Lupin said, surprised. "How did you–oh." The wizard's voice suddenly dropped off, and Ed knew without looking that the other man had noticed his legs. "…Tonks! Get someone with a wand over here now!"

"What–?" Then she saw them as well. "Bloody hell…Stay here!"

The spots in Ed's vision were clearing now, and he eased his head up from his arm to take a look at the damage.

"It's going to be fine, Ed. A few healing spells and they'll be good as new." Lupin tried to assure him, but Ed knew that was a lie.

Sure, magic might be able to heal the broken and twisted bones of his right leg–maybe it could even do it without leaving scars where shards of white had broken through the flesh–but Ed knew he was going to die:

Winry was going to kill him when she saw the cracked remains of his automail.

~o(0)o~

"For Truth's sake, Harry: I'm alive!"

"I know: you'll live in all our hearts forever Sirius, but I'll join you soon."

"Gah!" Sirius was done arguing with his godson. _How did I ever forget he was so stubborn?_ Now, after nearly ten minutes of trying to convince Harry that he wasn't a ghost, phantom, or figment of imagination, Sirius grabbed Harry by the arm as the boy tried to retreat again. "I. Am. Not. Dead."

Harry straightened as he felt the other wizard's pulse, dropping a small stone that had been clutched in his palm. "But–you–I–the veil–two years?" He stuttered.

"Yeah. Confusing. I get it." Now that Harry believed him, there were more pressing matters for the animagus to worry about. "What was this about joining me soon?"

Harry pulled away, looking into the trees in what Sirius suspected he thought was a mysterious and solemn gaze. "Voldemort is going to call off the attack on Hogwarts if I hand myself over. Everyone's counting on me to do this."

Sirius was silent, waiting for Harry to follow up with "I'm just kidding! No idiot would ever do that!," but his godson kept staring at the woods with that slightly-constipated look. "Wait. Are you serious?"

Harry hesitated, and Sirius could see the inner struggle between denying it and responding, "No, _you_ are."

The animagus rubbed his forehead tiredly, "Are you trying to get yourself killed, Harry? Wait, no, don't answer that." He was steadily building volume. _Did everyone decide to act like idiots once I was gone?_ "Better question: what in Merlin's name made you think that letting Voldemort kill you would help anyone?"

Harry took a step forward. "He'll leave the others alone!"

Sirius raised an eyebrow incredulously. "Oh, yeah. I bet. As if that noseless flobberworm hasn't _ever_ gone back on his word. Nope," The animagus grabbed the Idiot-Who-Lived's sleeve and began dragging him back towards the castle, ignoring the boy's struggles. "You're going to get your butt back to Hogwarts and wait for the fight to come to you."

~o(0)o~

"My lord, there has been no sign of Potter."

The Dark Lord frowned. "Hmm. Pity. It would have been so like him to run out here like a fool." The red eyes narrowed as he adjusted his plans. "We will head to the castle: if Potter will not come to me, I will kill him in front of his beloved friends."

The Death Eaters shared a glance and one of them spoke up. "But…My Lord, the, um, hour isn't over yet."

Perhaps that wasn't the wisest thing to say: Voldemort decided that it would match the atmosphere of his arrival at Hogwarts perfectly if he was heralded by screams.

~o(0)o~

Ed couldn't decide whether he loved magic or hated it. He watched the portly, ginger woman with a kind (though vaguely familiar) face wave a stick over his leg, but despite how grateful he was to see the bones and flesh repair themselves, every fiber of his being was screaming at him that it was _wrong_. Really, it shouldn't have bothered him at this point–it wasn't as if Sirius hadn't used any "spells" in his presence–but it was… _frustrating_ to see the laws of alchemy so easily ignored.

"There you go." The woman smiled at him as she slipped her stick into the sleeve of her robes. "I'm afraid I can't do anything for your other leg; there's too much technology to risk using magic."

Ed sighed as Remus helped him to his feet– _foot_. He could limp a few steps in case of emergency, but there was no way Winry's work would hold up if he got in another fight. "Thanks anyway. I don't suppose you know where I can find–"

Impossibly loud screams echoed through the corridor. There was no one else close enough to account for the sheer volume of the cries.

 _Magic then._ Ed looked to Remus for an explanation. The man's brow was scrunched in concern, and he seemed about to speak before–

" _Harry Potter is a coward."_ The slimy, pompous voice carried through the air, replacing the screams. " _Do you hear me, you misguided fools who were tricked into fighting on his behalf?"_

Remus cocked his head, listening intently. "This way." He said finally, helping Ed limp along towards the source of the magically magnified voice.

" _Too afraid to face me, he uses you as a shield even as he plans to escape."_

They were moving faster now, the voice guiding them through the ruined castle halls until they stood at the edge of a massive battleground. It might have once been a pleasant courtyard, but the pitted stone, scorched columns, and still bodies ruined any semblance of beauty it once held. At a glance, Ed saw the two sides of battle standing on opposite ends of the field. One, composed of children and rag-tag soldiers, and the other made of the Death Eaters Tonks had mentioned.

" _Bring me Harry Potter and be over with this ridiculous resistance."_ Ed could see the snake chimera standing at the head of the black group, a wand pressed to his neck to amplify his words.

"Why bring me when I'm right here?" The entire assembly whipped around to find…the kid Ed had taken the extra soul from? _What is he doing here–_

"Harry!" The cry swept through the body of students like a virus as the bespectacled teen strode to the center of the courtyard. _Oh, so this kid is the one the snake chimera wants? Why?_

"You idiot!" Another man stormed after the young wizard, and Ed grinned for the first time that day.

He waved his hands to attract the animagus's attention "Sirius! Where the hell have you been?!"

The whispers had changed from joyous shouts to general confusion, and Ed felt Remus falter under the arm that was supporting him. "Sirius?" The older man breathed, looking to Ed like he couldn't believe his eyes.

Sirius spotted the alchemist in the crowd and put his hands on his hips. "Where have _I_ been? Where the hell have _you_ been?"

Ed stepped away from Remus's support. "I–"

"SNAKE!" Shouted a student to Ed's right.

"What–?!" Ed barely managed to get his automail up in time to block the enormous boa constrictor from biting into his side. The reptile tried to jerk away from its failed attack, but as its fangs appeared to be stuck in Ed's arm, it ended up throwing the alchemist to the ground. Out of instinct, the alchemist awkwardly clapped his hands together and slapped them onto the snake's body. It was to his surprise then, when not only did the reptile deconstruct under his fingertips, but a fragment of human soul escaped from the body into his own.

The courtyard was silent with shock. The snake chimera, who had previously been trying to divert everyone's attention back onto himself, looked mortified by what had happened.

Ed stared at his mismatched hands, the red sparks of transmutation still skipping along the surface of his skin. "Alright, not that I'm complaining, but why the hell does this world have so many extra souls just floating around?"

"Avada Kedavra!"

White.

~~~v~~~

"Really? _Really?"_ Ed stood across from the Gate, arms crossed and staring at Truth.

Truth stared back.

"You send me to an alternate reality only to get killed? By a snake chimera with a god-complex so big he thought splitting his own _soul_ was a sane idea?"

" _I never claimed getting back would be painless."_ Truth smiled, the grin making it obvious what the being thought of the alchemist's predicament. " _Now if you don't mind, hand over your payment and–"_

"Hold it: I'm not dead?"

The white shadow shifted uneasily where it sat. " _Well, since you were already on your way here, the curse technically allowed you to access my domain without any fee…"_ As if sensing Ed's thoughts, the being suddenly shot to its feet, " _But that doesn't mean you won't need one to get back!"_ It added hastily.

"Send me back."

" _What did I just say–"_

"Not home." Ed stalked towards Truth, golden eyes burning with anger as he pushed past the surprised being and faced the Gate itself. "That snake chimera just made things personal."

~o(0)o~

"Avada Kedavra!"

Sirius had barely a second to register that Voldemort had pointed his wand at the alchemist before the curse had been fired. Too far away, the animagus watched in horror as Ed turned around only for the green light to strike the center of his chest.

"Ed!" His feet moved on their own, stumbling at first and then gaining speed as the blond's body slumped limply to the ground. Sirius vaguely registered the battle beginning again behind him, Harry's and Voldemort's voices shouting above the spells of the other combatants. After what seemed to the animagus like several minutes, Sirius crashed to his knees at Ed's side. "Hey, you alchemists can't die, right? You just go back to Truth, right?"

There was no answer. The blond lay unnaturally still on the rough stone. It was eerily similar to their first meeting so long ago, and Sirius had to push down the urge to shake the alchemist awake. The dull, golden eyes that stared into the grey sky lacked their usual piercing quality, and his features showed surprise, as if Ed had no idea why he was lying on the ground.

It…it wasn't right! Not that Sirius had known him long, but after battling together for even the shortest time the wizard had come to respect the courageous alchemist–short rants and all. Looking at him now, Sirius was shaken by how…how _wrong_ it seemed for Ed to be so still. Death just didn't suit Edward Elric.

"Dammit!" Sirius curled his fist. "You have a war to fight, Ed! What about the people you still need to save? How are you going to do that if–"

The animagus stiffened as the air suddenly changed. All around the courtyard, the wind was picking up and the very air buzzed with energy. Duels stuttered to a halt as the magic users all turned to find the source of the disturbance.

Sirius hurriedly scrambled to get away from the alchemist when red lightning began swirling around the blond's body (if Ed was getting pulled back to the Gate that was all well and good, but the animagus wasn't about to get sucked in with him). Crimson sparks danced across the broken remains of Ed's automail before diving _into_ the metal. If anyone had been paying attention, they would have noted that the prosthetic limb had been restored to its former glory–but no one was looking at the metal leg. No: they were watching in mixed amounts of awe and horror as Edward Elric bolted upright, eyes blazing with golden fury once more.

"Ed…" The words faded on Sirius's lips as the alchemist lurched to his feet. Ed's head turned as his gaze swept the crowd, and those golden eyes narrowed as they found their target.

"W-what magic is this?" Voldemort stuttered, wand shaking as he pointed it at the glaring alchemist. The Death Eaters blanched under their masks: the dark lord _never_ stuttered. "I _killed_ you!"

"Try again." Ed challenged.

Voldemort sneered at the blond's flippant tone. "Avada Kedavra!"

The alchemist gave a humorless chuckle as he swept his right hand in front of the oncoming curse, the green light rebounding off the metal onto the ground. "I'm not giving you any more cheap shots." The remaining Death Eaters shuffled backwards hurriedly at the display of power, receding like the tide and leaving their Dark Lord to face the alchemist's wrath alone. The blond smiled pleasantly at Voldemort, insincerity dripping from every inch of the expression. "For some reason, I just don't like the idea of being dead."

No indeed. Death did not suit Edward Elric, because in this moment, Edward Elric was Death. And if there was one thing that Voldemort feared…

The alchemist marched straight towards the dark wizard, casually deflecting curse after curse with the flick of his automail wrist until he stood face to face with the wizarding world's largest threat. "Any more pretty lights you want to throw at me?"

"Sirius…" Harry edged next to his godfather, his expression conflicted. "Shouldn't we do something?"

Sirius considered it for a moment as he watched Ed stand defiantly before Voldemort. Only moments ago the animagus had watched the alchemist die, but looking at Ed now… "Nah." Sirius shrugged. "Ed can take care of himself."

"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" Roared Voldemort.

"Other than an idiot chimera who tried to kill me?" The alchemist's grin turned feral. "Not a single. frickin'. clue."

Then he kicked Voldemort in the gut.

Sirius fell to his knees with laughter as Ed took advantage of the dark lord's hunched posture and punched Voldemort in the face. Again. And again. And again–apparently with no intention of stopping. It seemed as though the 'great and all powerful' dark wizard had completely forgotten about using magic out of pure shock. A minute later, and Voldemort had been beaten into unconsciousness with a face that resembled a snake less than it did raw meat.

Ed dropped his victim unceremoniously onto the ground with a glare. "Stay." He commanded, before whipping his head around to look at Sirius. "Any more trash I need to take out before I leave–"

Sirius cut him off with a punch to the shoulder. "Jerk. I thought you died."

"Yeah, um, surprise?" Sirius watched as the tension seemed to melt from Ed's shoulders as the alchemist rubbed his neck in embarrassment. "I didn't exactly have time to warn you. I'll try to get killed slowly next time, yeah?"

Sirius snorted. "No dying period, idiot." He looked over Ed's dusty, torn clothes and then glanced back at the stunned crowd of students. "I would invite you to stay, but…"

"I need to get home." Agreed Ed. He clasped Sirius's arm in his own and looked the animus in the eyes. "It was nice fighting with you, Sirius."

"Thanks for all of your help." The wizard sighed. "I don't suppose I'll see you again?"

The alchemist glanced back at the unconscious form of Voldemort and grimaced. "If I end up back here it won't be on purpose; if I never face the Truth again it'll be too soon."

Sirius shuddered at the thought of the grey Gate in its realm of pure white. "Agreed. Good luck with your war."

"Thanks." Ed reached down to pick up Voldemort's limp form. A simple clap was all that was needed to start the transmutation, the fragment of soul rising from the dark lord's body to pay for the toll. The last thing Sirius saw of the alchemist was Ed's trademark sardonic smile. "Good luck cleaning up."

Sirius frowned as the light of the transmutation faded, turning back to look at Hogwarts. "What did he– oh."

Rubble, bodies, and craters filled the courtyard with a thick layer of dust covering it all. Sirius could only imagine the damage done to the inside of the castle. Even with magic, it was going to take weeks if not months for things to even begin to look normal again.

The wizard sighed, resigning himself to the work that was sure to come. "It's good to be home."


End file.
